From One Child, To Two

From One Child, To Two

My three-second pause presented me with two choices.  I either needed to stop to get changed, which would involve taking the baby out of the carrier and risk losing my window of opportunity, as no doubt the toddler would take the opportunity to take all their clothes off and refuse to get dressed again. Or I could just leave the apartment with a breastmilk vomit filled bra. I choose the latter.

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“You’re Not Pretty Enough”

“You’re Not Pretty Enough”

"As I said “OK.  Go for it!” to Jenny, I had this feeling come over me, almost like a schoolgirl who was about to do something that she knew would be disapproved of, but it felt so right to her.  That was breaking one of the unspoken, and undefined societal rules, that everyone knew existed despite no one ever speaking it.

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"I was feeling helpless in the family situation; lost in the enormity of my emotions; and couldn't see a way through. "

"I was feeling helpless in the family situation; lost in the enormity of my emotions; and couldn't see a way through. "

"I started working with Charlotte because a close relationship had disintegrated and I felt overwhelmed by my desire to rescue it.

I was feeling helpless in the family situation; lost in the enormity of my emotions; and couldn't see a way through. 

I felt trapped.”

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Just Being With You, In The Now, During Deep Emotions

Just Being With You, In The Now, During Deep Emotions

But do you know what she was so upset about what morning? … what was compounding her trauma?  

I wasn't that her husband had just died.  It was that everyone at breakfast was avoiding her.  That until I came over no one had spoken to her, acknowledged her or even looked at her.  Indeed they all made efforts to actively avoid her by choosing to sit at the far end of the breakfast terrace.   That is what her dismay was about right at that moment.  That her pain and sadness, and thus her, were being ignored.

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"Are you going to call the Police on my mummy for being in the mens' washroom?"

"Are you going to call the Police on my mummy for being in the mens' washroom?"

A film crew member approached us with hands up saying "Please wait. There is filming in process".  Without a second of hesitation, my response was "sorry but the naked from the waist down child is about to poo" and we kept speed walking through the set.  Without stopping, the crying 5 year old with blood dripping down her leg; the naked from the waist down 2 year old; the friend and me shouting "keeping walking everyone" walked straight through the scene that was being filmed.

Before I had children I would never of dreamed of flouting such a request with such disregard.  If someone put a request to me I found it hard to deny it, even if it compromised my needs.  But something about becoming a mother changed me.  My inability to say "no" is disappearing.

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My Daughter's Words of Empathy

My Daughter's Words of Empathy

"Then many of the passengers started vocalizing their feelings by shouting “Just shut up. Look what you’ve done now,” “shut up and calm down,” or my favorite, “For fuck’s sake, there is a kid on this bus.” All the comments just seemed to fuel the anger in the man with the beard.

My four-year-old daughter just turned to the man with the long white beard, and in the calmest voice just said “I see you feel very angry.”

That’s what she said.

I cannot even begin to describe the shift in energy that I saw from this man, as someone validated his feelings; showed that they could see how he felt without judgment or with intention to try and get him to change his feelings of anger simple by telling him to “calm down.”"

An inspirational story from Charlotte Watson EFT Practitioner. Thanks so much for sharing, Charlotte! ❤️ ‪#‎gmpthatswhatshesaid‬

http://goodmotherproject.com/2016/04/daughters-words-empathy/

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People of Vancouver: Charlotte Watson

People of Vancouver: Charlotte Watson

On what turned out to be a record breaking, STUNNINGLY (terrifyingly – off topic but I could rant about global warming for a while) warm April day, I met Charlotte on the top of Grouse Mountain, to take some portraits of her and her kiddies in a place that feels like a second home to them. 

Here’s what Charlotte had to say about living in Vancouver, the community that she’s built, and what she loves doing with her kids!

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Enough

Enough

I had no idea how long this socially unusual level of participation would go on for. With both children we usually include a developmentally appropriate conversation about money when they ask to join classes and programs, and he was always adamant that he wanted these classes.  He was speaking his truth.  In his own way he was totally committed.

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Book Review: The Hip Heros

Book Review: The Hip Heros

As a mum to a 3 year old and 6 year old, I am always on the look out for books that will not only support them in (my hope of!) learning to love reading, but also in learning about values which are important to me. As an EFT Practitioner and Yoga Instructor I am always delighted to learn of books that include positive messaging about meditation, kindness, and how to be empowered by your own powers.

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Just Being With You, During Deep Emotions

Just Being With You, During Deep Emotions

But do you know what she was so upset about what morning? … what was compounding her trauma?  

I wasn't that her husband had just died.  It was that everyone at breakfast was avoiding her.  That until I came over no one had spoken to her, acknowledged her or even looked at her.  Indeed they all made efforts to actively avoid her by choosing to sit at the far end of the breakfast terrace.   That is what her dismay was about right at that moment.  That her pain and sadness, and thus her, were being ignored.

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The Dhamma of a Kleenex Box - on reconciling womanhood

It’s been a long road to owning my womanhood.  Starting out with messages that mental illness stems from ‘woman problems’, I grew up a fighter, sometimes literally, for the women in my life who were treated unfairly. I also grew up to discover that women didn’t always have my back, or each other’s. I experienced a harsh paradox that when I worked hard to excel, I was alienated from women in my life who thought I was trying to be better than them or make them look bad. A lot of this hurt led me to deem sensitive ‘womanly’ traits as weak. Meanwhile, being a deeply empathic person, sensitive to the struggles of others, was tearing me apart, hating myself for my own weakness and wearing my thin mask of toughness.

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I see you feel very angry

I see you feel very angry

My 4 year old daughter just turned to the man with the long white beard, and in the calmest voice just said “I see you feel very angry”.

I cannot even begin to describe the shift in energy that I saw from this man, as someone validated his feelings; showed that they could see how he felt without judgement or with intention to try and get him to change his feelings of anger simple by telling him to “calm down”.

With no judgement she just met him where he was at with his emotions.

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Backpacking with a Baby

Backpacking with a Baby

Although we were desperately excited to start our family, my husband and I both feared that we might have to forego our vacations of independent travel for more conformist and conventional resort based holidays. Luckily, our fears were unfounded. This posts shares what we've learned about traveling with a baby.

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What is Help?

My daughter (then 4 yrs) and son (then 2 yrs) and I were getting off the elevator at a train station, when we saw a lady slumped on the bridge.  As we maneuvered the stroller out the elevator the few people passing between us and the woman asked "are you OK?", to which she replied in an extremely weak voice "yes thank you" even though she clearly wasn't.

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